A Hot Mess Read online

Minke came back to school second semester and got him an apartment in every project Hitler did and a couple more. Then he set niggas up in each apartment, distributed the thirty pounds of weed he’d brought in, as well as the twenty pounds of hydro and the fifty pounds of chocolate Thai. He had weed spots from Park Place to Reservoir, which he locked down smoothly, and his shit would run for years to come.

  Two years later, Hitler and Minke met Queen and Alecia. And Wiz, who worked for Minke, met Malaina. Two years later, he married Malaina and gave her three kids.

  Minke gave Alecia a life she could only dream about and more. Gave her two kids and loved her like she could never imagine. But Hitler and Queen had a crazy love-hate relationship.

  Minke and Hitler’s family always wondered why Hitler was caught in East New York. They’d never ventured over there too often. It would be five years later before the truth would come out and destroy their life.

  CHAPTER 4

  Joy shook her head at the expression Minke had on his face as he came through the door. She didn’t know at the time why he didn’t want her to pick him up at the airport.

  “Come over here, baby,” she said, walking up to him, allowing the dark green silk robe to swing open so he could see the short, dark green nightie with the spaghetti straps, that was cut low and showed all her cleavage.

  “What up, ma? What’s the deal?” Minke said coldly, not hugging her back. He dropped his bag and made his way to the kitchen.

  “Hold up. You been ghost for four days, and come in this bitch with attitude? I got the kids in bed, got your Dutch already rolled, got wine and shit laid out, and you go shitting on me?”

  “Alecia, you know I just came from New York. You know we had the thing for his memorial.”

  “And it’s been six years now. I lost my sister too, but that can’t dictate our lives now,” she said, getting even more upset.

  “I ain’t with all this shit, yo. Fuckin’ blow out these candles and turn on some gotdamn light.” Minke pulled a bottle of Moët from the refrigerator. He popped the cork, and excess bubbly ran on his plush, light-blue carpet.

  “You fuckin’ up, Minke. You lost your damn mind.”

  “Fuck this shit, all this shit, when it come to my peoples!” he yelled. Then he turned the bottle up to his head.

  “I’m going upstairs,” Joy said.

  For real, she hadn’t seen him like this but a couple times, and each time she seen murder. Being with him, she seen the same shit she’d grown up around, and more. Ever since Hitler had died, Minke had taken on Hitler’s roll in every way. His fuse was always short, but now it was shorter. He was always quick to pull his burner at the right time, but now he pulled it fast at anytime, with one in the chamber, safety off. Ready!

  “You ain’t goin’ no muthafuckin’ where!” he yelled as he threw the champagne bottle through the forty-two-inch Sony television that sat in the black lacquer entertainment center.

  Joy’s heart began to beat harder and then faster. She grabbed her chest but couldn’t move. But the second try was different. She shot for the stairs, with him on her ass, skipping the first three and never slipping as she made it to the bedroom and slammed the door. But her security came crashing down, just like the door off the hinges.

  “What did I do? What did I do?” Joy cried as she jumped on the bed on her knees, her arms extended and palms up, begging for an explanation.

  “I seen my girl Nikki from the East side. She was at Hitler memorial. She telling me—”

  “Who the fuck is Nikki?” Joy yelled.

  “Your fuckin’ cousin. Nicholy Foxx, Nikki the nigga. Bitch get money like a nigga, down for anything—boosting, credit cards, setting niggas up. Then she turned into a stripper at night. You know who the fuck I’m talking about. Play stupid if you want to.”

  “I haven’t seen Nicholy since I left New York. And even then we didn’t fuck with her. She was into all kinds of shit.”

  “Well, Queen got with her—your sister Queen, if you forgot her. And they got those niggas in your old building, Redd and Paco, to get my dude. Queen told them when she was gonna get him to bring her through, and that he would have at least two hundred fifty stacks in the back. What she didn’t expect was, they killed her for her cut. And know what? Nikki told them to.”

  “What?” Joy’s eyes widened.

  “Yeah, Nikki told me all her shit that you knew, Alecia. You knew this shit and didn’t tell me. You my wife. People could have thought I was involved. You let me go out there not knowing, and that could have gotten me killed.”

  “I never knew if it was all true. I wasn’t gonna bring chaos, not knowing if there was any truth to it.” Joy knew she was wrong.

  “When?”

  “When what?” she asked, confused.

  “When did you find out?”

  “I got a call from Nikki two years later. She was drunk and crying at the club, but she ain’t say shit about her involvement.”

  “Naw, I got that from Winner, old man Winner.”

  “He still around, gettin’ high?” Joy asked, sitting back on her feet.

  “He was there when Nikki asked Redd and Paco. Queen said she would give them fifty thou to split, and she would take the rest, and they agreed. But Nikki told them that she’d let them split one hundred thou, and she’d take one fifty.

  “And what Nicholy say?” Joy was furious.

  “Bitch shouldna been in the car, and laughed. Now that’s some shit for ya.” Minke walked back to where the door used to be.

  “I’ma kill all them muthafuckas, word on my mother! They gonna see me,” Joy said.

  Minke stared at Joy, the love of his life. He loved her with all he had in him, but questions ran through his mind. Did Queen tell her about this? Was she in on it? Had she been fucking with Nikki? Minke had never doubted her. He never felt he had a reason, and no matter how hard he tried to look at her as his sweet, loving, innocent wife, he now saw a woman who would lie and keep things from him. And he hated that feeling.

  “Paco and Redd, dem dead. Me cut ’em up real good for Hitler, real good. Nikki gonna get hers. But I’m gonna tell you, Alecia . . . I never expected nothing to go on and you know and not tell me. I’m your husband, you are my wife. You question my love and loyalty to you and my family because you thought I wouldn’t understand. Now you got me doubting and questioning you,” Minke said, a sad look on his face.

  Joy sat on the bed with tears in her eyes. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing after she’d given her all.

  “I’ve loved the shit out of you since we’ve been together, gave you my everything. How could you say that?” she yelled as he made his way down the stairs.

  Minke sat on the couch, lit his Dutch, and leaned back. The more he thought about things, the more upset he got, but the smooth-burning chocolate Thai stopped him from wilding out.

  Joy cried and explained until Minke decided to leave. He had to fight to get out the door, and left her lying on the cold hardwood foyer, crying her heart out.

  He returned days later, and it started.

  Over the next several months, Minke began to treat her as if she was just another woman he fucked with, staying away for days at a time. And his patience was short when it came to her. He began to verbally abuse her because of her weight change. Then he went from making love and not being able to stay off her to her pleading, almost begging him to please her.

  After almost a year of being treated like shit, Joy began to pull herself together for her kids. She realized Minke was too far gone to be reeled back in, so she slowly stopped calling his phone so often, stopped catering and waiting up, and went on with life, taking care of her kids.

  Minke realized the change in Joy’s routine. Thinking she was fucking around, he came harder at her. His disappointment changed to a dislike, and because of the way she began to ignore him, hate seeped into his heart and mind. He moved all his money, so she had none, and he let all the utilities go off.

  The last
straw was when he took her truck and drove it to New York. Then he called her and told her it was stolen. He came back got his car, and she didn’t see him again.

  Joy was humiliated and hurt as she and her kids were put out of her home that Minke had allowed to go into foreclosure. She couldn’t stop the tears from rolling as she threw her last few things in her moms’ car and they rolled away from her home.

  “I don’t believe this, Mommy,” Joy cried. “I can’t believe this shit. I was good to him.”

  Her mom said, “Go ahead, baby. Cry your heart out. Shed all those tears.”

  “Stop at the pay phone,” Joy said before they reached her moms’ house.

  “Yeah, call him one more time, say all you gonna say,” her moms said, knowing she was gonna call Minke.

  Joy dialed Minke’s number. She hadn’t spoken to him in weeks. He wouldn’t answer her call, knowing an argument was on the other end.

  This time, surprisingly, he answered on the second ring. “Yeah. Who’s this?”

  “Didn’t call to fuss. Just wanted you to know they foreclosed on the house and put me and your kids out on the street. I can see you leaving me, but your kids didn’t deserve this. And they don’t deserve to be in a shelter. All you had to do was walk away, just leave. I got nothing. Can’t get no lower. But you watch me, nigga. I shedded my last tear, my last muthafuckin’ tear, over you,” she said with a smirk she let him hear. “Believe that.”

  “Fuck you and them kids, bitch!” Minke hung up.

  Joy’s heart stood in place. It didn’t fall and hurt like it usually did. She slowly walked back to the car.

  “It’s done, girl. Get your shit moving and go ahead without that nigga,” her moms said. “You can only stay with me one night, Alecia. It will be faster getting a place if you and yo’ kids went.”

  “Mommy, I’m good,” Joy looked at her moms with hurt in her face, but her heart in place. “Carry me downtown. We goin’ in tonight. I’m gonna be fine.”

  “Damn right, you gonna be fine. Hold your shit in place and your head up. Now you will always know—one, never put your all into a man, and two, always have your own to fall back on,” her moms told her. “What he say anyway?”

  “Fuck me and the kids.”

  “Baby, you just learning how cruel men can be. When a nigga broke, he act the fool, when he got dough, he even worse. Get yourself together and find you a nigga with a regular life.”

  They rode in silence until they pulled in front of the shelter, where Joy would spend the next three months living in conditions far worse than she was accustomed to. She was hurt and confused, but she saw much more confusion and strain in her children’s eyes. That was when she knew it was all on her.

  Like she’d seen so many women do, she had to provide and make a way for her and her kids, so she found a job. With no transportation, the city bus became her friend. She rose early and got her kids straight. Performing her duties throughout her day allowed days to pass by without the stress of wondering what tomorrow would bring.

  Joy couldn’t believe the day she got the call from housing authority. Grinding for months, they had given her a date then shot down all her spirits. She sat on her cot with her kids close by, hurt, sad, and angry. She’d been sweet and passive her entire stay, so when one of the homeless people in the shelter tried to borrow without asking, something in her snapped, words were said, and in seconds, all the frustration that had built up in her exploded. And she was that wild, crazy, city bitch that people speak on.

  Joy sprang from the cot to the intruder and was going hard until she was pulled off. Her daughter stood crying as her son stood firm, looking at his mom break this bitch down. Suddenly, Joy broke loose and grabbed a hard-cover Bible and charged at the sizeable woman, bringing the spine of the Bible across her nose. Blood splattered as Joy began throwing a flurry of punches.

  This time she was grabbed and thrown to the ground until the police arrived. The other woman was hurt bad.

  Joy looked up at her kids. Her son held his sister tight, keeping her from losing control, or more so trying to calm her down. She could see the anger in his glassy eyes at the men who were restraining his mother.

  When he heard her yell from the knee in her back and saw her eyes fill with tears, he grabbed his lunch bucket and, with all his might, swung it, coming across the man’s head, striking him in the corner of the eye and then again across the forehead. The man fell off Joy, grabbing his head. Without thinking, he jumped on the other man, but he was no match.

  In seconds Joy was on him too, throwing blows, as her son held on the stranger’s neck for dear life. After it was finally broken up, Joy was restrained and taken to Norfolk City Jail, from where they called her mother and, as first of kin, released all Joy’s belongings and kids to her.

  CHAPTER 5

  Joy flipped the page. Reflecting on one of the most trying and hurtful times in her life wasn’t easy. She looked at the girl sitting beside Bugg. It was her and Bugg on her mother’s couch drinking. She looked like she would squish Bugg, a slim six foot one, 135-pound dude. After giving birth to her daughter Quandra, she’d shot up five sizes, not to mention her breasts had blown up. She didn’t know how to really handle the weight, so she wore sweats and t-shirts, or big, flowing dresses.

  She turned back a couple pages to the pictures at her son’s first birthday party and stared at herself in the picture. “Thirty-six-DD, twenty-six waist, thirty-eight hips, size ten. Damn, I was a bad bitch! Hoes couldn’t fuck with it,” she said out loud.

  But then those thoughts quickly washed away.

  When Joy was released from jail, she had to stay with her moms. Her friends were her friends, but nobody opened their door, except her moms, who allowed her and her kids to occupy a room, leaving her moms on the couch most of the time.

  The second night she was there, her moms sat her down. “I know your situation and I want you to get yourself together, but as long as you and them kids running my bills up, you got to pay your way.” Her moms sipped on her Skyy vodka.

  “Got you. I work, and I got you. I appreciate it. Give me a month or two, and I will have my own. I won’t get comfortable,” Joy said with attitude, never looking at her mom. She sipped on her Grey Goose and went back to doing her nails, mask on her face, and listening to Mary J.

  “So when you gonna have some money?” Her mom lit a Newport. “Ain’t no food in here, and those kids need to eat.”

  “I ain’t got shit today. Friday I get paid. They’ll eat fuckin’ oatmeal and sandwiches,” Joy said. We’re in a nice, quiet, comfortable, clean place. Now be grateful.

  “Well, I’m going to the store, so they can have a nice breakfast and lunch. You need to go get them signed up for school first thing in the morning.”

  “I know. You gonna take me, right?”

  “No, you can go and bring my car straight back. I got things to do,” her mom said, getting her keys.

  “What you cookin’ this late?”

  “Shrimp and fries. I’m hungry.”

  “Hurry up. Me too,” Joy said, smiling as her mom went out the door. It was the first time she’d smiled in a while and didn’t have to force it.

  For the next year, her mom made it comfortable for her grandkids, but hell on Joy. Every time Joy tried to save a penny, her mother had an emergency come up. Joy always gave a hand and gave more than she should’ve, but it was never enough. She didn’t get peace until her pockets were dry and she was begging for bus fare or a ride to work.

  She looked back down at the picture. She looked at her hair that was undone and her big, short, flowy dress, no makeup. She looked like a hot mess, but Bugg was right there up under her like a little puppy.

  When she’d moved in with her mom, she wasn’t computer literate, but after staying with her moms a short while, she built a Myspace site and started hearing from longtime friends. That’s how she’d met Bugg, who she knew from middle school.

  He’d had a crush on her, just like
the other guys, because she was from New York. So when he appeared at her house after they’d caught up on life, the extra weight and other changes never made a difference. He wasn’t doing nothing with himself and was still undesirable, but he kept her high and drinking. And he was there to give her rides to work, and to talk to when nobody else was there. He spent many evenings at her mom’s eating, drinking, snacking, and being social. Moms loved him because he brought liquor when he came, and was there to help her daughter out.

  One Friday night they sat up looking at movies, and everyone else was ’sleep. Joy herself fell asleep, and was laid back on the sofa. Bugg sat in the chair opposite her, staring at her exposed thigh, as her gown rode up, giving him a tempting view.

  He’d tried many times to fuck Joy, but she never gave in. This night he decided to allow the tequila to take control and give him the courage he lacked otherwise. He leaned over and fell to his knees and buried his face in her crotch. As she began to stir, he moved her panties to the side quickly and began licking and sucking her love like no tomorrow.

  Joy, who hadn’t been touched in months, gasped at first. She began to push his head away at the moment he found her clit.

  Bugg quickly took the enlarged clit into his mouth and began sucking and flicking his tongue across the little pearl ball. The force of his head being pushed stopped. Then he felt her fingers open, and her warm hands just sat on his bald head, as he sucked and licked ferociously, until her legs opened wider. She finally relaxed and allowed him to finish.

  Bugg smiled. He slowed down and ate her until she shook and tried to push him away, but he grabbed her wrists and continued lapping up every drop of her cum.

  Bugg tried to fuck, but it was a no-go. She wasn’t attracted and never wanted to allow herself to get that desperate again.

  A couple months later, after she and her moms got into a big argument over money, she came home from work, and her moms had her bags, her kids, and all her other shit bagged up and at the front door. With nowhere to turn, Bugg was right there to take her to his house, which he opened up to her as if she was his wife and those were his kids. And he allowed her to drive his hooptie. In return, she played wifey, cooking, cleaning, washing, and sharing his bed. Joy disliked it, but she was learning to deal with life and use her assets.